Yeah I know

Alright kids.  Haven't blogged in forever.  That would be because things suck.  I'm in MS no man's land, a place I've never been before and let me tell you, it's hell.  In the past things would eventually smooth out and a status quo would develop.  No such thing is happening this time around.  The ironic thing is that I have no new lesions, it's just the stupid lesions in my thoracic spine can decide to wreak havoc in strange ways whenever they want.

So yes, I have been really down lately.  "How do you know you're down?" a professional recently asked me.  For me, I know I'm down when I get apathetic about pretty much everything.  I stop doing things I like to do.  Also in this case the constant spasms I get overnight in my hands are preventing me from DOING the things I like to do.  That's a big downer.

I was denied disability the first try.  That's not surprising, most people are.  The reason, however, gives little hope for approval the second time around.  See, I was denied because I have a masters degree.  Doesn't matter that I was diagnosed two years after receiving it, or that my MRIs show progression, or that I've been on three treatments, or that I had to quit a part-time job after three weeks.  I am too SMRT for disability.  And it will continue to be a problem.

My disability lawyer has filed an appeal so my hearing will take place in about a year.  Yes, a year.  Lately I have been seeing specialists.  PT, OT, speech therapy...so I keep busy seeing them and finding out new diagnoses.  Mostly it's nice to finally find out the name for a problem I've been having.  But in reality it sucks because there's no treatment for any of it.

So there you go.  Hopefully I will get back to posting things when OT guy gets the splints in he ordered.  One can hope.

Dear Brad

Hi.  I am still alive.  Be back soon.  Hugs and kisses.

I AM SO SORRY PEOPLE!

Look, I've been doing creative stuff but it isn't original stuff it's other people's stuff and then you add in real life stuff and suddenly I find myself on the phone with a friend who is reminding me that I HAVE NOT POSTED ON MY BLOG IN TWO WEEKS or asked in a return FB email why I haven't posted since this blog amuses my cousin.

It's nice to be missed.  :)

Alright, so here is something I didn't design but comes from Meg McElwee's book Sew Liberated: 20 stylish projects for the modern sewist.  And...you know what?  I'm not even going to explain it.  Let's just say if you don't find it cute you may be dead inside.

Oh?  Not cute enough for you?  Check out the chef's hat.

Yeah I'm about to make your frozen heart melt.  Apron.  Hat.  Together.  C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

Lookit.  I cannot wait to see this ensemble on the little girl for which it is intended.  She who likes helping her grandma cook in the kitchen.  I hope you're getting nostalgic for your childhood or, if you have a youngster, dragging him or her into the kitchen and breaking out something they can help make.  My grandma made perfect omelets.  Well, she didn't put any cheese or vegetables in them but the eggs weren't scrambled and she taught me how to do the same.  I still make them the same way and think of her every time.  Also I can't wait to give this apron and chef's hat to the intended and then practice our Julia Child impressions together.  Too.  Much.  Fun.  When I finish her sister's ensemble, complete with mustache, I will post it as well.  With that one we get to practice throwing a temper tantrum in French.

What do you mean bad influence?!?!

The Vanity Project: I've Had All I Can Stand, and I Can't Stand No More

White flag!  I am waving the white flag here!   This project became an obsession in perfection.  Finding the perfect shade of white.  Perfect gloss.  Perfect chair.  Perfect stool.  Perfect new hardware (which I'm fond of if I do say so myself.  And I do.)

Those two drawer handles?  I spent half an hour picking out.  I am ashamed to admit that.

So then I started actually USING the vanity.  You know, setting pretty things on it.  Picture frames.  Vases.  Dusting it every day.  What?  You do that too, right?  I noticed after about a week that the PAINT WAS SCUFFING from the moving of said objects.  I was peeved.  Grabbed a foam brush and painstakingly painted the top of the vanity.  Oh, I should also mention that I used a razor blade to remove the paint drips, sanded them down, then touched up the spots.  And the unsightly spot left by my childhood sticker obsession?  Gone in five seconds thanks to the razor blade.  Those things are cool.  I mean, they come in handy.

Now everything on the vanity has felt pads on the bottom to protect the paint.  I also have a pretty eyelet runner I made across it. and a matching one on the cheap stool I found at Target that's perfect.  Coupons and sales, yo.

So yes!  I was very, very happy.  I cleaned the mirrors again and then noticed that the middle mirror, the largest one, was foggy.  No matter how much I cleaned it the fogginess wouldn't go away,.  Wha?  I was perplexed.  I researched cleaning products only to discover WOE IS ME IT'S THE RESULT OF AGE!  The mirror is permanently foggy.  :(  So sad.

I researched options online then headed to the local big chain home improvement stores where, much to my dismay, I was told that I wouldn't find a piece of glass that size there.  It's definitely a weird size.  13.5 inches wide by 19.5 inches high.  With beveled edges.  The suggested I call the local glass company since it would be a custom order and their estimate blew.  my.  mind.

Conundrum.

Lookit.  On one hand there was the perfection obsession.  On the other?  I am dirt poor.  I had to come up with an alternative.  I settled for buying a cheap mirror at Walmart and leaning it up against the middle mirror of the vanity.  It serves the purpose.  Down the road, if I am ever fortunate enough to be, what's a step up from dirt poor?  Grass poor?  Maybe I'll look into getting the mirror replaced.  But that would be a professional job for a glass cutter and someone who has mad skills with fragile furniture.  It is definitely a piece that would be awesome in a little girl's room.  And I saw some really cute pink handles that would be fab.  For a little girl.  Yeah.

Still, I am irked a bit.  Look:

See it?  No?  Oh very well.  Look CLOSER.

The back of the leaning mirror!  It reflects in the glass of the vanity!  I SEE IT EVERY NIGHT WHEN I GET INTO BED.  I can't deal.  I have to paint it.  But I won't torture you any more with it.  It's time to move on.

I've worked on a few small projects that I'll post before getting to another biggie.  No progress photos of them, just final results.  A chair I covered so I could sit on the porch with the other neighborhood porch people and a dress I made.  And then.  AND THEN!  The Ottoman Project:  Take Two!  You just got shivers of excitement, didn't you?

The Vanity Project: Done! Psych!

OCD.  I've never been diagnosed with it.  I doubt I have it.  But there are certain things that I can become obsessed with such as cleaning.  And organization.  And the vanity.  Hold me.

The painting finished, the vanity was moved upstairs.   I then spent two hours in Lowe's (I kid you not) picking out new drawer handles.  Here's the vanity table with a close up of the new handles.

I really like the new handles.  They fit the new glossy whiteness well.  What I hate?  The paint drips.  Sloppy.
Vanity table and storage system in place...

I added the mirror top.

Voila!  I says!  Look at the pertiness!  I says!  Look how well it fits in with the decor!

And then I revisited the long journey...

That got me to the end.

EXCEPT IT ISN'T THE END.

Because I couldn't stand the paint drips.  Because the stuff I put on the vanity was sticking to it.  Because the middle section of glass is so old it's permanently foggy.  Because perfection with my projects is mandatory preferable!!!

Lookit, there are many things I will try to do just to see if I can do them.  I find that I can.  Go team me.  Then I never do them again.  I guess it's more of a personal challenge thing or else chalk it up to the weirdness, but it's the truth.  I spent three days making croissants from scratch.  Then were buttery, flaky and delicious.  I was proud.  Haven't made them sense.  I made bagels from scratch complete with boiling them and throwing ice cubes in the stove so they steam.  Again, delicious, fun to make, never made them again.  Now, I would definitely refinish another piece of furniture but this one?  I got WAY too particular which I'll talk about in the last, I swear, post about the Vanity Project:  Mirror, Mirror on the table.  Why does replacing you COST MORE THAN MY INTERNET, PHONE AND CABLE???

The Vanity Project: Prime and Paint Overkill

Having sanded the crap out of the vanity, I was ready for the part I had looked forward to the most: painting.  I love painting.  Back in my high school days I took many art classes and the only area in which I showed any promise was ceramics, but painting was fun.  I also enjoy painting furniture.  And playing with razor blades.  But we'll get to that later.

Since the end result I had in mind was a glossy white I consulted the people at Lowe's as to what type of paint should I use?  I figured I'd need fancy furniture paint but no, simple interior latex.  Bummer.  I also bought primer because why not?  Yeah the paint I bought had primer in it BUT I WAS AFTER A SPECIFIC LOOK PEOPLE.  And I had started here:

And brought it to here:

So yeah.  No messing around.  It was going to be all out white paint overkill.  So I primed it.  With two coats of primer.

Yes!  Priming overkill!  Go ahead and tell me about it.  Then I painted the back of the mirror.

Maybe you're wondering why I would do that since who's going to see it?  That part will be against the wall?  The point is I would know that it wasn't painted i.e. NOT DONE.  So there.
Two coats on the vanity table.

Which became three.

If you click on the picture and supersize it you can see the smudge where I checked to see if it was dry.  With my finger.  It wasn't dry.  Let that be a lesson to you in patience. 

The next post will be the last one about the vanity project.  It should be titled, The Vanity Project:  Proof that I Indeed Lost My Mind and Don't Know When to Quit and Someone Really Needs to be Around to just Tell me to Stop but No One is Here Except Victoria But She's Inanimate So She has No Vote When it Comes to How Far I Go In My Obsession With Perfection.

The Vanity Project: Sanding Sucks

Veneer.  Removing veneer became the stuff of nightmares.  Sure the remover stuff worked wonders but the icky tar-like substance was gross.  I didn't even take pictures because I just wanted it DONE.  It was a three day battle, I kid you not.  I only used it on the top of the vanity bench and had to let the stuff sit and soak for 30 minutes before scraping it off with a putty knife.  Then I would wipe it down with warm water soapy water followed by a quick rubdown with a dry cloth.  Let it dry 24 hours and repeat until the veneer and varnish are removed.  This took three days.  THREE DAYS.  Three days to reach this.

You will notice in this photo that I already started the next painstaking process: sanding. 

Back in the day pre-MS sanding would not have been a problem.  Yeah hours with sandpaper isn't my idea of fun but I wouldn't have thought twice about it.  Now though there's more to consider.  I figured purchasing a sanding block was my best bet but I wanted to see how well the hand cramping would hold up.  Enter my pals at Home Depot.  No we're not really pals, they're just helpful.  For the most part.  If you find the right person.

All I wanted to do was try out a sanding block and see how the hands held up.  I go to the sandpaper aisle.  I push the little red call button.  The automated voice announces "customer needs assistance in the sandpaper aisle."  I wait.  Two guys eventually descend, one an older dude and one a young dude.  Young dude asks "what can I help you with?"  I begin telling him I'm refinishing a vanity and he interrupts me and launches into an explanation of sandpaper.

Holy.  Poop.

Really?  I am in the sandpaper aisle, moron.  I turn to older dude and my jaw is clenched.  Needless to say he helped me out.  Sanding block didn't work for me so he set me up with the right equipment and I returned home to sand.  And sand.  And sand.

THE END OF SANDING

Next:  Priming and Painting!

The Vanity Project: Veneer Sucks, Yet I Still Somehow Manage to Rock Safety Glasses

Treasures uncovered, it was time to actually get down to the business of revamping the vanity.  Revamping how, you ask?  Oh easy!  Stripping off the veneer, stain, sanding it down, priming it, and painting it white.  Maybe you're having the same reaction as my dad.

Dad:  (looking very perplexed)  "Why do you want to paint it white?

Me:  (answering while looking equally perplexed)  "So it matches my bedroom furniture!

Look, I come from a family of carpenters.  I find it strange to walk into a persons garage and not see a bunch of power tools.  Or a table saw.  Most people probably think horror movie when they see that stuff.  I think "oh cool what are we building?"  The dudes at the local Home Depot are impressed that I can identify different power tools.  It's like I'm Rain Man when I walk in there.  Except I can't count cards and there really isn't any money in identifying tools and stuff.

So yeah, I consulted an expert (dad) on what type of paint to use and he was unsure which made sense considering everything he built he then stained.  Paint desecrates the integrity of wood!  But since neither of the rents can remember where the vanity came from, nor identify the type of wood I thought I was safe painting it. 

First came research and the choice veneer/stain remover is water based.  Paint is your basic interior latex.  These things I procured.

Along with a plastic drop cloth.  I did all this stuff in my kitchen since there is no carpet and it's the easiest place for clean up of dead stuff dust. 

Now.  Before I begin the safety demonstration I would like to say that these pictures were taken before I began the new drug regimen to help with the muscle spasm stuff.  It's working, still needs some tweaking, but we're on the right track.  Before the new regimen I wasn't sleeping.  There were stretches where I was up for five days straight.  Most people tell me that's impossible but I am here to tell you that it isn't.  Sure I may have dozed off for 15 minutes here or there but was interrupted by a bout of Lhermitte's and, well, it was awful.  I would also like to dedicate these pictures to my cousin Beth because she complains that I never smile in photos.  So here you go, mini.

Right, varnish/veneer remover.  I read the directions several times.  It took a bit to process.

This picture should be titled "the sleep deprived thinker."  Then I remembered the first step to safety.

Safety goggles!  Oh, crap wait.

There Beth!  Safety goggles and a SMILE!  Now my eyes are protected from any toxic back splash.  More protection is necessary.

Latex gloves!  To protect the hands from chemicals.  (Is this grin cheesy enough for you?)  Alright, then the silliness really kicked in.

Lookit.  I'm the safety police.  How ridiculous are those huge goggles?  My sunglasses fit under them!  I call that my license and registration please look.

This is my imitation of a look I see on the faces of cops.  The creeper cops.  Of course often they aren't sporting the sunglasses.  And they're never sporting the safety goggles.  The capillaries in their nose are busted and they're blitzed.  It's the classic "Hey baby I'm a cop.  In this here bar.  Wiiiith Yoooouuuu.  Lemmmmme buy yooou a drrrriiiii...." and then they fall off the stool or one of their buddies grabs them.  Beware the creeper.  Bewarer the creeper cop.

Work gets underway next.  Tune in for How I Schooled the Home Depot Punk and You Don't Know Amish Until Their Horse has Pooped in Front of Your Mailbox.

The Vanity Project: Vanity Exploration

Step One was accomplished.  Through hard work and sheer determination I had acquired a vanity.  I know.  It took tremendous negotiating skills and...oh wait.  I already told you I got it from my parents.  Crap.  Damn meds.

Fine okay.  So I forgot about the vanity that sat in the bedroom of my youth.  And teen years.  And post teen years.  My 20s.  Many things are familiar about it.  Things like this!

Look at the upper left hand corner of the mirror.  THE MIRROR.  No, not at the wine rack in the background.  At the mirror.  See the weird white stuff?  Could never be removed.  I brought it up to mom the other day.  She said either my sister or I put a sticker there and the residue never came off.  I'll take responsibility.  I loved stickers.

This next thing though?  I blame on my sister.

Oh, look at that.  A missing drawer handle.  Who could have done that?  NOT ME!  It was (my sister's name goes here)!  I can't put her name there because I have to keep her identity safe.  She's in the witness protection program.  Wait, I mean her husband is a public official who gets death threats.  I mean she's paranoid.  :)

Right so next I had to take the mirror off the back and remove the hardware.  Easy peasy I says.  Not so fast.

Fuzzy, I know.  I had to dig out tools to remove this baby.  Sometimes dad calls up his fellow Lil' Rascal members of the He Man Woman Haters club and they tighten these types of things to the point where more than my hand is required to loosen it.

Mom emptied the drawers and I got to go through the memories and sort them into what was mine and what was my sister's.  Most of the stuff was mine.  There was a picture and business card from high school that belonged to my sister, but in the name of privacy I won't post them.  YOU'RE WELCOME SECRET SISTER.  I will share other treasures.  You don't need to see my diploma from high school.  Or my dean's list letters, paper clips, Yuengling bottle opener,  provost scholar letters, an ancient credit card offer, that kind of crap.  Let's talk treasuuure!  Get yer best pirate voice on! 

The best treasures?  Old pictures.  And one old school project.

I did this my senior year for English class.  I don't remember the assignment.

But I remember writing it.  That's me as a kid.  Here's the picture used.

My hair was kind of red!  Also I still get that excited about Modeling Clay.


I must have grabbed another pictured for the assignment because that's the only reason I can think why this was in the drawer as well.

HA!!  That's awesome.  I have no idea how old I was in that picture.  I would bet money I was wearing corduroy pants. 


Remember senior pictures?  One of mine was in the drawer.

Classy, kids.  Purple sweatshirt I wore everywhere.  The necklace?  Staple of my wardrobe, thanks.  And boat shoes.  Comparing the last two photos you can see I sported bangs for a long time.  In fact I didn't grow out my bangs until I was 22, a recent college graduate, a volunteer for the government, and really, really poor. 

Ok, this last picture?  When I found it I was freaked out.  It was still in the drawer.  Not in the bag of stuff mom gave me.  Wedged in the drawer.  Keep that in mind.

At first I thought it was a picture of my mom and aunts recreating a scene of The Last Supper.  Now that I've increased the size of the picture it appears to be a picture of a picture or sculpture or painting of The Last Supper.  Did you leave this in there on purpose mom???  WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME??  I know it isn't my mom and aunts because, on further inspection, all those above appear to be male.  And none of my aunts have a white beard.  There's some message here.  I'm scared to know what it is.

Show and tell is over.  Next up:  researching how to remove veneer and prepping for safety!