The Vanity Project: Veneer Sucks, Yet I Still Somehow Manage to Rock Safety Glasses

Treasures uncovered, it was time to actually get down to the business of revamping the vanity.  Revamping how, you ask?  Oh easy!  Stripping off the veneer, stain, sanding it down, priming it, and painting it white.  Maybe you're having the same reaction as my dad.

Dad:  (looking very perplexed)  "Why do you want to paint it white?

Me:  (answering while looking equally perplexed)  "So it matches my bedroom furniture!

Look, I come from a family of carpenters.  I find it strange to walk into a persons garage and not see a bunch of power tools.  Or a table saw.  Most people probably think horror movie when they see that stuff.  I think "oh cool what are we building?"  The dudes at the local Home Depot are impressed that I can identify different power tools.  It's like I'm Rain Man when I walk in there.  Except I can't count cards and there really isn't any money in identifying tools and stuff.

So yeah, I consulted an expert (dad) on what type of paint to use and he was unsure which made sense considering everything he built he then stained.  Paint desecrates the integrity of wood!  But since neither of the rents can remember where the vanity came from, nor identify the type of wood I thought I was safe painting it. 

First came research and the choice veneer/stain remover is water based.  Paint is your basic interior latex.  These things I procured.

Along with a plastic drop cloth.  I did all this stuff in my kitchen since there is no carpet and it's the easiest place for clean up of dead stuff dust. 

Now.  Before I begin the safety demonstration I would like to say that these pictures were taken before I began the new drug regimen to help with the muscle spasm stuff.  It's working, still needs some tweaking, but we're on the right track.  Before the new regimen I wasn't sleeping.  There were stretches where I was up for five days straight.  Most people tell me that's impossible but I am here to tell you that it isn't.  Sure I may have dozed off for 15 minutes here or there but was interrupted by a bout of Lhermitte's and, well, it was awful.  I would also like to dedicate these pictures to my cousin Beth because she complains that I never smile in photos.  So here you go, mini.

Right, varnish/veneer remover.  I read the directions several times.  It took a bit to process.

This picture should be titled "the sleep deprived thinker."  Then I remembered the first step to safety.

Safety goggles!  Oh, crap wait.

There Beth!  Safety goggles and a SMILE!  Now my eyes are protected from any toxic back splash.  More protection is necessary.

Latex gloves!  To protect the hands from chemicals.  (Is this grin cheesy enough for you?)  Alright, then the silliness really kicked in.

Lookit.  I'm the safety police.  How ridiculous are those huge goggles?  My sunglasses fit under them!  I call that my license and registration please look.

This is my imitation of a look I see on the faces of cops.  The creeper cops.  Of course often they aren't sporting the sunglasses.  And they're never sporting the safety goggles.  The capillaries in their nose are busted and they're blitzed.  It's the classic "Hey baby I'm a cop.  In this here bar.  Wiiiith Yoooouuuu.  Lemmmmme buy yooou a drrrriiiii...." and then they fall off the stool or one of their buddies grabs them.  Beware the creeper.  Bewarer the creeper cop.

Work gets underway next.  Tune in for How I Schooled the Home Depot Punk and You Don't Know Amish Until Their Horse has Pooped in Front of Your Mailbox.